This is a picture of me... and my Christmas tree. I named it Scoli (sk-oh-lee) because he and I both have crooked spines. (Precious.) Funny story about Scoli... he comes from The Dixie National Forest. Turns out we didn't realize that until after we were pulling away with him in the back of the truck. Sorry, America.
Last year we had a tree that had five heads. Five trees in one! HOLY.... TANENBAUM! We had our own little Dixie National Forest... right in our convenient living room. That's right, folks. Go big, or go home. Y'all ain't got nothin' on us! Our Christmas spirit could Chuck Noris your Chrismas spirit... in the face!
Ahem. Because... that's what this season is all about... who can out-do the other.
The year before that, we had Bruce the Spruce. (I am the unofficial tree-namer of my humble abode. It just comes to me... in a whiff of forest green inspiration. You could probably call me The Tree Whisperer. Or not. That would be cool, too... as well... also...)
Anyway... Bruce was a fattie. (Yup. I went there.) He was as wide as he was tall. (Eight feet wide to be exact.) And I loved him for it.
The year before that, we had a tree growing in our front yard that was reaching its full potential... clear up into the powerlines. You know that saying, "Reach for the moon; if you miss, you'll still land among the stars"....? Yeah. Tell that to our tree. It got sawed in half, beheaded from the fall, and used as our Christmas tree that year.
Goodbye hopes...
Goodbye dreams...
Goodbye cruel world...
Hello, Christmas! (What a special time of the year.)
you said y'all. hehe.
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