Punch!

So, the other day, I got thinking about Satan. You know... that fallen angel who makes your life miserable at times. Anyway, I got to thinking about him, and I thought out loud, "I would happily punch you in the face if I could." And then I thought out loud, "Oh wait... you don't even have a face for me to punch! In your face, loser!" (Speaking out loud to invisible beings makes me feel more whole as a human being at times. Because, really, who's humane if you're not a little crazy?)

Anyway, punching Satan in the face got me to thinking about other intangible beings whom I should very much like to punch in the face:

Voldemort. I would gladly punch you in the face... if I didn't think you would go all avada kedavra on me.

Darth Vader.

Every single character in the book Twilight.

Fernon Mondego.

Robinson Crusoe... no one cares! It's why we voted you onto the island. Also... if you say woe is me one more time, "PUNCH!"

Hamlet and Ophelia.

Also... Romeo and Juliet.

Reverend Arthur Dimmsdale.

Tom Sawyer... a couple of times.

John Smith

Mr. Wickham

Emma Woodhouse

President Snow from The Hunger Games

But most especially, you, Scarlet O'Hara from Gone with the Wind. I salute you in your wretchedness. You take evil to a whole, new, inhumane level. There really is nothing scarier than a woman scorned... no not even you Chuck Norris. Scarlet, I would happily punch you in the face if I could. But alas... I cannot. Blast my wretched luck!

Also... blast my peaceful disposition! I should very much love to punch you all!

...If only my conscience would allow it.